Meet the Parents (Jack and Ashi)
by BlueSocks789
Summary: Alternate Universe (Teen Jack/Ashi) Jack insists on meeting Ashi's parents. Much to his shock, her family is REALLY dysfunctional. Will he gain her family's approval?
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: Don't own anything

"Could I possibly meet your parents soon?" Jack asked, causing Ashi's eyes to widen in shock.

The two were under their usual tree in the forest, cuddled up under the shade of the branches and leaves.

"Why...would you want to meet my parents?" Ashi frowned.

"Well, you have met my parents, so I thought it would be only natural-"

"Trust me Jack, you wouldn't want to meet them," Ashi shook her head, "It'll change your view on me,"

Jack noticed her apprehension and reached out, gently holding her cheek and turning her face towards his, "Ashi...I would never judge you based on your family. I want them to know that I am completely invested into our relationship,"

Ashi's eyebrow twitched in contemplation before sighing in defeat, "Fine. You can meet my parents,"

Before she could even finish her sentence, Jack pulled her into a deep kiss, "Thank you,"

A few days later, Jack walked up to the doorsteps of Ashi's house and took a deep breath before ringing the doorbell.

'You can do this,'

Ding-Dong.

Jack then heard a crazed female voice yell, "Aku, my lord and master, the doorbell has rung-"

"SHUT UP WOMAN, I KNOW!" A deeper, more threatening voice screamed as footsteps started nearing the door.

The front door suddenly slammed open and Aku raged in Jack's face, "WHAAAT DO YOU WANT, FOOL?!"

Jack blinked in surprise at the appearance of Ashi's father, but regained his composure and coughed, "You must be Ashi's father. My name is-"

"GIRLS! GET DOWN HERE!" Aku screamed in fury.

"YOU HEARD WHAT OUR MASTER SAID!" Ashi's mother screamed.

Ashi, Ami, Avi, Aki, and 3 other siblings rushed down to the front door.

"WHO INVITED A BOY OVER?!" Aku demanded.

Ashi's mother spoke, "Do you want me to kill him, Master-"

"SHUT UP WOMAN! I can handle this myself!" Aku snapped.

Ashi made her way to the front, and ran towards Jack, hugging him, "I invited him over, Dad. He's staying for dinner tonight,"

Jack bowed respectfully towards the family, "It is nice to meet you. My name is-"

"FOOL! AS IF YOU'RE GOOD ENOUGH FOR MY DAUGHTER!" Aku yelled.

"Dad! You didn't even give him a chance!" Ashi growled.

Ashi's mother screeched, "HOW DARE YOU TALK BACK TO OUR LORD AND-"

"WOMAN! I GOT THIS!" Aku yelled, causing the entire house to shake.

Jack blinked in shock, before reaching behind his back, presenting a cake, "I have bought you a cake for dessert,"

"Cake?!... Hmm...acceptable for now..." Aku snatched the cake from Jack's hands before walking inside, "Come in before I change my mind!"

Jack turned to Ashi and smiled hopefully, "I think he likes me,"

Ashi slapped her forehead before grabbing Jack's hand and dragged him inside her house.

At the dinner table, Ashi's sisters and Aku all glared at Jack who looked around nervously. Ashi, who sat beside him, touched his hand in reassurance, making Aku growl.

"So...how did a fool such as yourself meet my beautiful angel?" Aku questioned.

Jack chuckled as he recalled, "We actually didn't like each other,"

Ashi smiled as she also recalled the memory, "Jack showed me the positives of life, and then..."

Her words died down as the couple gazed at each other lovingly for a long time, before Ami screamed, "WELL, I DON'T LIKE IT!"

Aku rolled his eyes, before his stomach growled loudly, "WOMAN, WHERE IS DINNER?!"

"Right here, Master!" Ashi's mother placed a heaping pile of food in front of Aku, and he immediately started digging in.

"Uhh...do we get any dinner?" Jack inquired.

"No, we usually get our own," Ashi sighed, "My mother is too crazy to even care about us,"

"WHAT WAS THAT?!" Ashi's mother snapped.

"You heard me!" Ashi growled, "I don't even know why you two married! I haven't seen a couple so dysfunctional in my life!"

"Sweetheart, you know your mother and I try," Aku swallowed a bite of his food, before yelling, "WOMAN! HOW COULD YOU POSSIBLY BURN MACARONI?!"

"Master! I sincerely apologize!" Ashi's mother dropped to her knees and groveled, "I deserve to be punished!"

"WHAT?! I'm not going to punish you, you crazy woman!" Aku rubbed his temples.

"Are we going to have more children, then?" Ashi's mother questioned.

"ISN'T SEVEN ENOUGH-?! YOU KNOW WHAT? I WANT A DIVORCE! Aku screamed.

Ashi sighed, got up, and dragged the shocked Jack away and up to her bedroom.

To Be Continued


	2. Chapter 2

Disclaimer: I don't own anything!

Chapter 2

Ashi dragged Jack into her room, and quickly locked the door before turning towards him.

"Ashi, I don't think it's appropriate for me to be in your room..." Jack said as he looked around in curiosity.

Her room was surprisingly brighter than the house in general. She had flowers decorated everywhere, along with green walls and a jungle-styled bed with stuffed animals.

"...Hm, not what I quite expected," Jack smiled and turned to face Ashi.

"What are you saying?" Ashi demanded, crossing her arms.

"For a half-demon trained assassin, your room is...cute," Jack nodded as he found the perfect adjective.

"...Shut up," Ashi blushed as she sat on her bed, patting the space beside her for Jack to sit on.

Jack hesitantly sat beside her and after an awkward silence of glancing at each other, he cleared his throat, "About your family..."

"I told you so," Ashi sighed, "My mom's an insane freak, my dad's a weirdo, and my sisters are basically robots,"

"Well..." Jack scratched the back of his head, "That does not make you any less radiant than you are now,"

"Jack...you're really corny," Ashi chuckled as she punched his shoulder, "But it's sweet, I like it,"

They sat in silence again. Jack fake yawned loudly as he stretched his arms, wrapping one around Ashi's frame. She barely contained her laughter as she played along to his game, leaning her head against his shoulder.

They were suddenly interrupted by yelling from Ashi's window.

"YOU CALL THAT FLIRTING LADDIE?! YA BIG BABY! ARE YA GONNA WRITE A POEM FOR 'ER NOW, EH?!" Ghost-Scotsman yelled from the window.

Jack calmly walked to the window and closed the curtains, "Please excuse my friend...he is usually very drunk,"

Ashi blinked, and then rubbed her eyes to make sure she was seeing correctly, "Is he a-"

"CELTIC MAGIC!" Ghost-Scotsman yelled through the window, "AYE, LET ME PLAY THE PERFECT SONG THAT'LL SET THE MOOD!"

Suddenly, the most loudest, awful sound of bagpipes started playing outside, causing Jack and Ashi to immediately cover their ears.

"WHAT. IS. THAT. NOISE?!" Aku screamed as he busted through Ashi's door.

"Dad! I told you to knock before entering!" Ashi groaned.

"Sorry sweetheart, but Daddy pays the bills, so he can knock down any door he wants," Aku shrugged, "Anyways, your mother and I are getting a divorce, so we gotta decide who's getting what child. Be prepared to go to court or whatever. And don't worry- Daddy will make sure he'll take custody of you,"

Ashi stared speechless at her father, "You're actually getting a divorce?"

"Yeah, your mother is insane. I'd rather pay child support than put up with her," Aku sighed.

Suddenly, Ashi's mother ran into the room, clinging onto Aku's tentacle-base-leg things, "MASTER! DON'T LEAVE ME WITH THESE WORTHLESS BRATS! I'LL DO ANYTHING FOR YOU!"

"That's the problem! You're too clingy!" Aku complained, walking out, dragging the desperate Ashi's mother with him.

"..."

"EVERYBODY LOVES SOMEBODY SOMETIME~!" Ghost-Scotsman yelled/sang though the window, and continued playing his bagpipes.

Ashi growled, stormed over to the window, opened it, and screamed, " **SHUT UP!** ", before slamming it, ceasing the noise.

Jack's eyes widened at her temper. He was slightly scared, yet slightly turned on somehow, "Ashi, are you ok?"

"No! I have to go to court and say a stupid testimony defending my worthless father!" Ashi complained, flopping onto her bed, "I wish they never wanted a divorce in the first place,"

"Hmm...maybe I can help out with that," Jack muttered.

"You can? How?" Ashi jumped up and leaned extra close to Jack's face, causing him to blush.

"Do not worry, I have a few friends that can help get your parents back together," Jack took out his cell phone.

To Be Continued


	3. Chapter 3

Disclaimer: I don't own anything.

A/N: Jeez, I did not think this story was going to go this far...eh, oh well. Hope you enjoy!

Chapter 3

An hour later, the couple still sat on Ashi's bed.

"..." Jack struggled to turn on the phone, pressing random buttons that didn't have effect on the screen whatsoever.

Ashi looked at Jack like he was insane, barely holding back her temper.

'How does he not know how to use a cell phone?!' She thought to herself.

After many numerous attempts to turn on the phone, Jack sighed in defeat and turned to Ashi.

"I guess it is broken," Jack sighed, "Do you have a rotary dial instead-"

"Give me that!" Ashi snatched the phone and easily unlocked it, gaining access to his contacts.

"...Oh," Jack scratched the back of his head and laughed nervously.

* * *

Later, Jack and Ashi walked into a local bar, grabbing a seat in a booth and settled down.

"When should they be here?" Ashi questioned, looking at the menu.

"About 5 minutes," Jack answered, waving the waiter over.

The waiter walked over, and immediately turned to Ashi, "How may I help you, gorgeous,"

Jack twitched his eye in irritation as the waiter looked a bit too invested in Ashi.

Ashi read off of the menu, "Hmm...I'd like a steak- rare,"

"Good choice. Can I get a name with that order-"

"-Jack," Jack interrupted, and turned to glare at the waiter, "And I would also like tea with that order. That is all,"

"...Right away," The waiter quickly left, taking the hint.

Jack turned back to Ashi, who was holding back her laughter, "What?" he asked, turning red.

"Nothing," Ashi smiled, reaching out across the table to take his hand. Jack took her hand, and the two gazed at each other lovingly.

"BOO-RIING!" Ghost-Scotsman screamed in front of their faces, making the duo jump in their seats.

"Dad, it's not nice to make fun of them," Flora shook her head.

"Nothing wrong with a wee bit of fun, eh?" Ghost-Scotsman sat next to Jack on the booth, while Flora sat next to Ashi.

"Sorry to interrupt your date," Flora apologized, making the two even more flustered.

Jack stuttered over his words, "Well, it is not a date, yet-"

"So, what are we going to do about my parents?" Ashi questioned, avoiding the entire conversation.

Ghost-Scotsman suggested, "You think I can serenade them with me bagpipes-"

"NO," Jack and Ashi yelled at the same time.

"...Fine, but you're missing out, laddie," Ghost-Scotsman pouted, crossing his arms.

"Well, what do your parents usually do together?" Flora asked.

"They argue- yeah that's about it," Ashi gave up thinking immediately.

"They don't go out on dates or anything?" Flora seemed a bit shocked.

"No, never went out on a single date. I think he just had a one night stand and married her to make up for it," Ashi shrugged.

"Well, why don't ya make them go out on a date? Everyone goes on a date!" Ghost-Scotsman ranted.

"...Mom said you never took 'er out on a date," Flora stated.

"Er, well I...SHUT IT!" Ghost-Scotsman yelled at his daughter.

"Well, that seems like the best option," Jack concluded.

"But how are we going to make the go out?" Ashi pondered.

"I think I have a solution to that," Jack smiled.

* * *

The High Priestess was in her bedroom, sobbing heavily while holding a picture of Aku.

"Oh Master, what happened to us! We used to be so close! My bruises used to sting from the blade of your knife and the braids of your whip! And it felt so good! Especially when you spank me-"

"Uh, mother..."

"WHAT, YOU LITTLE VERMIN?!" The High Priestess screamed at Ashi, who was standing by the door with a disgusted look on her face.

"Well, Dad wants to meet you at Scaramouche's restaurant tonight at 9, to make up or whatever..." Ashi informed her mother.

"I knew my Lord and Master would come back to me! ALL HAIL AKU! ALL HAIL THE GLORIOUS, ALL MIGHTY, POWERFUL AKU!" The High Priestess immediately began bowing down to his picture.

"..." Ashi slowly walked backwards out of the room, until she bumped into Avi.

"What are you planning?!" Avi interrogated her eldest sister.

"None of your business!" Ashi stated, bumping Avi out of the way to continue walking.

"The Samurai has made you weak! You are a disgrace to this family! Our father will see your true nature and punish you once and for all!" Avi yelled.

Ashi ignored her words, and walked straight out of the house. Jack, Ghost-Scotsman, and Flora were outside of her house, waiting patiently.

"So, what did she say?" Flora asked.

Ashi was silent for a few moments, looking down on the grass.

"Come on lass, don't keep us waiting!" Ghost-Scotsman pushed.

"She agreed to meet Dad there," Ashi looked up and smiled, causing Scotsman and his daughter to shout and cheer in victory.

Jack noticed Ashi's solemn expression and decided to discuss it later. "Now we just need to convince your father,"

"Yeah," Ashi agreed, "And I think I know where he's at,"

In Aku's evil lair, Ashi walked in with ease, "Dad? Are you in there?"

"Yes, sweetheart I'm here," Aku's voice came though the back room, and Ashi walked in.

Aku just finished placing sheets on a bed, and turned to Ashi with a smile, "How do you like your new room?"

"New...room?" Ashi questioned as she looked around. Much to her dislike it was blood red walls with fire pits at each corner. Instead of stuffed animals, there were swords and weapons. The bedsheets had the face of her Dad, along with numerous posters on the walls. There were no windows or any signs of outdoor life.

"It's...great," Ashi lied, putting on a fake smile.

"I knew you'd like it, my little demon! Once we get rid of your mother and your sisters, we'll be committing evil once again!" Aku laughed evilly.

"Yeah," Ashi sighed, then got to the main point, "Dad, Mom wants to meet you at Scaramouche's restaurant tonight at 9-"

"No way! I don't want anything to do with that insane woman anymore!" Aku shook his head, "Plus also, I can't stand that stupid butt-kissing robot!"

"But she wants to sign the divorce papers and make child support arrangements," Ashi lied, avoiding her father's eyes.

"Hmmm...Finally! She's actually acting like a human being for once! I'll definitely be there!" Aku smiled with glee.

"Alright...see you later," Ashi started to walk out, before her father stopped her.

"Ashi, one more thing," Aku spoke, "You're going to drop that fool soon, right? I can think of a million boys better than him...Maybe I'll introduce you to someone more...evil,"

"...Sure, Dad," Ashi sighed and rolled her eyes, walking out of the lair.

"That's my girl!" Aku roared with laughter.

* * *

Ashi, Flora, Jack, and Ghost-Scotsman met up in front of the restaurant at 8.

"Is everything set up?" Ashi asked. Jack noticed she seemed tired and more depressed.

"Yup! We got rid of that stupid robot too!" Ghost-Scotsman laughed, "His blabbering nearly killed me!"

"...Dad...did we even gag him?" Flora frowned.

"...WE DIDN'T GAG THE ROBOT!" Ghost-Scotsman yelled as he and Flora quickly ran inside to rectify the problem.

Jack thanked the gods that he and Ashi were finally alone, and spoke, "Ashi? Are you ok?"

"...Jack? Is there something wrong with me?" Ashi frowned, breaking her fake mood, "I'm nothing like my parents nor my sisters...I feel like a failure..."

She was suddenly enveloped in Jack's arms, much to her shock, "J-Jack?"

"Ashi, you are not a failure. You are your own person, which makes you special, to me at least," Jack looked down at her, "You complete me,"

"You complete me too," Ashi moved her head from his chest and looked up at Jack.

The two gazed at each other longingly before the restaurant door slammed opened, making them both jump.

"What in bonnie blazes are ya two doing?! Quit cuddlin' and get in here! Your parents'll be showing up any moment!" Ghost-Scotsman yelled at the two.

Jack turned to Ashi with a determined look on his face, "Ready?"

"Yeah," Ashi returned his look, and the two walked inside, preparing to get her parents back together.

To Be Continued


	4. Chapter 4

Disclaimer: I don't own anything!

Chapter 4

Ashi and Jack walked into the restaurant and was shocked at how actually classy the place was. It was a bright lit place, filled with chandeliers and professional robot-butlers.

"Impressive, huh?" Ghost-Scotsman nudged Jack's shoulder with his elbow.

"We took care of the robot, so you two sit over there, and spy on your parents," Flora pointed to a table nearby the reserved table for Ashi's parents.

"Thank you," Ashi smiled at the two before turning to Jack, "Shall we?"

Jack gazed at Ashi and blushed faintly as the light of the restaurant complimented her face. He hooked his arm around hers and nodded. They walked over to the table and Jack went over to Ashi's chair and moved it back for her to sit in.

"Thank you," Ashi grinned as she sat down, and Jack pushed her chair in, before rushing to his seat.

"When should they be here?" Jack questioned.

Ashi looked at her watch, "Right about...now-"

Suddenly, the doors slammed open to reveal the High Priestess and Aku. They walked up to Ghost-Scotsman, who escorted them to a table where Jack and Ashi could see them, but it wasn't vise versa.

Aku and the High Priestess sat on opposite sides of the table, simple staring at each other in an awkward silence.

"...Is that what we look like?" Ashi questioned, peeking over at her parents.

"...Possibly..." Jack cringed to himself at the thought.

"So...umm..." Aku cleared his throat, before turning and yelling at a robot-waiter, "Can a demon get some water here?!"

"Right away!" The robot scurried into the kitchen.

"I'm shocked you actually agreed to this," Aku stated, dipping his hand into the void of his chest, searching for the divorce papers.

"Anything to please you, Master," The High Priestess replied.

'Man...she is creepy,' Aku though to himself before nodding, "I was thinking about our daughters, and I'm a bit concerned about our eldest,"

"Ashi's always been different from the rest...always curious...it pisses me off!" The High Priestess slammed her fist on the table.

The robot-waiter arrived back to the table and handed Aku his water.

"About time!" Aku groaned as he snatched the water and drunk i all in one go, "Even though she has her flaws, she is the strongest out of them all...I'm just concerned about the Samurai. He seems like such a good influence on her...it's sickening,"

"Don't worry Master, I have a plan to get rid of him..." The High Priestess chuckled evilly.

Jack blinked at the mention of himself, and turned towards Ashi, who looked like she was about to kill someone. He placed a hand on her thigh and whispered, "Ashi! Calm down!"

"Good, because her relationship is pure toxic with that guy," Aku said, "She has a bad taste in suitors,"

"I don't know a decent demon who would go for those weak-hearted abominations," The High Priestess chuckled, causing Aku to join in on the laughter.

"Ashi! It's working!" Jack smiled, but his eyes widened as she was gripping her cup of water so hard, it began to crack and slowly leak.

"Man, you're not too bad, Woman," Aku chuckled as he wiped a tear from his eye, "I was just going to have you sign these divorce papers too-"

"Divorce?!" The High Priestess shrieked.

"Yeah, why do you think we agreed to come here?" Aku looked at her like she was an idiot.

"Ashi told me we were here to make up!" The High Priestess yelled.

"No, no, she told me we were here to finalize the divorce and discuss child support!" Aku exclaimed.

Suddenly, the kitchen door busted open to reveal Scaramouche, who was running away from Flora and Ghost-Scotsman.

"AKU! I FINALLY FOUND YOU, BABE!" Scaramouche yelled as he ran up to their table.

"Uggh...it's you again..." Aku groaned, smacking his forehead.

"Who is that?" The High Priestess demanded.

Aku groaned, "He's-"

"I'll tell you who! Be-bee-ba-boo-bo-da," Scaramouche interrupted, "Scaramouche the Merciless! The Pied-Piper of Ruination, the Crooner of Carnage, the Ambassador of Annihilation, the Eradicator of All, baby! Also known as... Aku's most favorite-"

"YOU'RE NOT MY FAVORITE!" Aku screamed, rubbing his temples, "Most annoying, yes...but favorite? Don't make me laugh!"

Suddenly, the doors busted open, revealing Ashi's siblings, "Father! Mother!"

"What now?!" Aku yelled.

"We set up the trap for the Samurai! Once he steps foot in the house, he'll be good as dead!" Aki informed.

"Perfect! Now we can get rid of that goody-two-shoes, kindhearted, idiotic Samurai-"

"SHUT UP!"

Everyone's eyes widened as they turned towards the source of screaming, which came from Ashi, who was standing on top of her and Jack's table.

"Ashi wait-" Jack couldn't stop her from marching up to her family, so he simply followed behind her.

" **YOU HAVE ALL BEEN BASHING MY BOYFRIEND FOR NO APPARENT REASON! HE HAS BEEN NOTHING BUT RESPECTFUL, AND YOU ALL WANT TO SUDDENLY ASSASSINATE THE MAN I LOVE?! YOU'RE ALL INSANE!** " Ashi screamed, her eyes completely bloodshot red.

"..."

"Ashi..." Jack was completely shocked at her outburst.

"She done it now..." Scaramouche stated.

"Lass..." Ghost-Scotsman's eyes widened.

The High Priestess hissed, "How dare you-"

"-WOMAN! I CAN HANDLE THIS MYSELF!" Aku screamed at her, before standing up and turning towards Ashi, "How could you say such things?! After all I have done for you-"

"YOU HAVEN'T DONE ANYTHING! ALL YOU DO IS SIT ON THE COUCH AND YELL AT MOM!" Ashi yelled.

"I do lots of things for you! You're just spoiled! I knew that Samurai wasn't good for you!" Aku growled.

"Yeah, Father! She's been doing disturbing things with the Samurai!" Avi pointed at Jack, "He's been corrupting her!"

"And you let it happen?!" The High Priestess snapped at Ashi, "YOU'RE A DISGRACE TO THIS FAMILY-"

"Ashi is no disgrace!" Jack had enough and decided at that time to step in, "She is strong, beautiful, and her own individual! I love her too much to let her get corrupted again by the likes of you!"

"Jack..." Ashi whispered.

Jack turned towards Ashi and stepped towards her, "I at first wanted to gain your parents' approval, but now I know I do not need their approval for your love..."

"Jack, what are you saying?" Ashi avoided his passionate gaze. The atmosphere suddenly dropped to a heavy point, and it became hard to breathe.

Jack gently cupped Ashi's cheek and their eyes made contact, "Ashi...Will you stay by my side for as long as we live? Will you wake up each and every morning right next to me? Will you...be my wife? "

"WHAT?! OH HEELLL NO!" The High Priestess yelled.

"Of course I'll marry you!" Ashi's eyes watered as she jumped into Jack's arms, both desperately giving in to their urges and started making out, pushing away their fear of PDA.

"MY EYES! IT BURRRNS!" Aki yelled, clawing at her face.

"SO MUCH CONTACT! SO REPULSING!" Ami covered her eyes and hissed at the sight of Jack groping Ashi's butt.

"I'M ALLERGIC TO PHYSICAL AND VERBAL AFFECTION!" Avi fell to the ground in a fetal position, her skin literally breaking out at the sight of Ashi running her hands through Jack's hair and down his back.

"I FORBID THIS! YOU CAN'T MARRY THE FOOL! YOU JUST GOT OUT OF HIGH SCHOOL, YOU'RE ABOUT TO GO TO COLLEGE!" Aku raged.

"We're going to the same college," Ashi spoke, and then resumed kissing Jack.

"I DON'T CARE! THERE'S A MILLION ASSASSINS BETTER THAN HIM! ARE YOU BLIND!" Aku waved his arms dramatically.

"No, but Jackie's gonna be yer son-in-law," Ghost-Scotsman and Flora started laughing, at the pure horror written across Aku, The High Priestess, and the Daughters' faces.

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"

 **To Be Continued?**

A/N: I have no idea if I should continue this or not...for now the main story's over with. Tell me via PMs or Reviews is you guys want a sequel or some sort of continuation. Thanks for the support, and be sure to favorite, follow, and review!


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